Ouuuuuuchhhhh... No Funding

photo courtesy of www.solarnavigator.net

SETI’s funding has been removed!  SETI, one of the only Institutes on earth that reaches out to the heavens to search for intelligent life, had to put it’s parabolic arrays away until 2013 because no funding was available for the remainder of 2011 or 2012.

I had two questions I needed answered before making up my mind on what to do. So I turned to my friends and family and asked them, "How do you feel about SETI and what idea do you have for raising money for the stricken institute?"

Wendi, a hairstylist for Paul Mitchell had this to say, “SETI? I don’t know what you are saying to me right now! What is a SETI?” After explaining to her that SETI was the search for extra-terrestrial life, she had this to say about doing a fundraiser, “I’d rather raise money for NASA!”

Good point Wendi! If we do make contact, we might have to chase them off and without NASA that would be quite difficult. I thought about who the biggest sci-fi fan I know was and then dialed the number.

The following conversation went like this:
Me, “Dad, what do you think about SETI going belly up till 2013?”
My Dad, “What is SETI?”
Me, "Dad, SETI is the Search for..."
Dad, "Ohhhhh SETI, yeah!" 

I was cut off at this point by him. He perked right up and started talking about the parabolic arrays and the pyramids and how we were visited before. 

I knew I could count on my Dad. When I asked him how he would raise money for the stricken Institute he said he would, “Have Isaac Asimov champion the cause and get a bandwagon behind him to raise the funds.” Proud of his answer, he hung up the phone.

On the other end, I shook my head to clear the knowledge that was just dropped on me. Isaac Asimov? Bandwagons? I’m sure I felt a little like Wendi did when I asked her how she felt about SETI.

Thanks, Dad for that bit of insight and thank you Wikipedia for letting me know who Isaac Asimov was. That's right, was, Isaac Asimov died in 1992.

So we have one vote for NASA and one for a dead guy.

I'm a little baffled how SETI can be front-page news on CNN and nobody knows about it?

I knew one person I could count on. I picked up the phone and called Dr. Joe. A good friend, surgeon and homeowner.

When Dr. Joe picked up the phone he was most definitely agitated and said, “Dude I’m on trauma rotation, what is so damn important?” I explained my two questions and he was upset to say the least. “Yes, I know what SETI is. It's those geeks who search for ET.” Not sure how he knew about SETI, but I decided to throw out my next question about a fundraiser, to which he replied, “You must be the most bored person on earth. You really sit around thinking up crap like this and then call me? Seriously, a fundraiser for alien research? Get a life! Dammit. OK! Lemonade.” Then the phone went dead.

So SETI, if you want any ideas on raising funds from two people in Florida, you have to choose between a dead guy and lemonade.

After all answers I received, I am left asking… WWETD? 

Game, Set, Match.com

courtesy of marieclaire.com

So let me get this straight, a man who has been convicted of sexual assault, not once, twice or three times, not four or five times, but SIX times is looking for a date? Ha, good luck with that. You would have to join a dating site and hide your true identity and hope that no one would ever ask about your past. I wonder if there could be such a place? A place where one’s past can’t find them. Where murderers, rapists, child molesters, deadbeat dads and drug addicts could go to find true love. It would be like getting a second chance at true love, or a victim. Where? Where could one go?

I can only assume that the actor playing Aaron on his real first date didn’t go home with Mindy afterwards and rape her.

There are so many stories I hear about online dating. “It’s a great place to hook up”, “I met my boyfriend online”, “bro, I can slam anyone of these girls and then when I’m done, just delete my profile.” Thanks ____________ for that last one. He’s the douche bag, who I’m sure one of you knows, that someone is dating right now.

Fact is, dating is hard nowadays and the idea of finding someone online is great, but when your option is, possibly dating Ted Bundy VS. staying at home, I’ll take door number two all day and twice on Sunday. I want to experience life, not death.

Match.com F’d up, but they are not the only ones. These companies have made millions on introducing people online and put no money into the safety of those individuals. Sure, they are going to lose millions doing individual background checks, but in the long run, it’s the best investment they could make. Match.com now does the investigating for you, because you are paying them to! What a smart idea and business model.

I’m single and enjoy my “me” time and going out on dates. The last thing I want to have to worry about after a long day at work is coming home, getting redressed up to meet a girl, go out with her and find out that a blind man, who is blindfolded in a dark room could do a better job of picking someone that is less likely to kill me. This is not the only scenario. All the people mentioned in the opening paragraph can also be women.  

My fingers are crossed for all those out there looking for love, but let’s stop and take a look at us. If we have to go to a website, what does that mean? Have we become so far removed from society that we look to technology to bring us back in to something that was once normal?

We all have our idea of our perfect someone. I’ve seen some of the most beautiful women with ugly men and vice-versa. No one can stop two people from falling in love, but it takes time. Look at an online profile and see someone at there best, but you don’t get to see the worst. It’s a freeze frame of how they would like to be remembered.

I say, Take a chance, leave the house once a week and get out there. Hang out with your friends, but be looking for someone who peaks your interest. Don’t take or settle for second best. We are all unique people and looks fade. Find someone you want to wake up next to in the morning. If you have that person already, you are one of the lucky ones. For the millions of us still searching for that person, time is not on our side. Try to make a conscience effort to get out there and put yourself out there. If online dating is your thing, go with it, but don’t become an expert at it. Always keep your eyes open and your head on a swivel, because while you are looking at that amazing profile of Juan Pablo or Jessica Rabbit, the person on the other side of that profile may want to kill you.

Just Saying

A Cynical View of Events LARGE and small

The job I am looking for after graduate school would be writing op-ed pieces for magazines, newspapers and online media sources. These could range from reviewing movies to giving my view on world events and even the best places to see a Agogo show in Thailand. I recommend The Dollhouse. I would expect that the person/company looking to hire would want to know specific background information that allows them insight into where my writing and voice comes from. I would expect to answer questions about religion, politics and any other items that might get someone passionate. I would expect to be asked about my current views of the government, movies, sports and Charlie Sheen. I would expect a question like, "what makes Bill, Bill?" I would be asked on the spot to come up with something witty and clever to something that recently happened that day and to write 300 words on it to be on the web in 1 hour. I am a creative writer who is very outspoken and through all my worldly experiences brings a style that may be offensive to some, but allows people to see a viewpoint of someone who has served in the military and traveled the world, who grew up in a functional family (sometimes), was raised catholic (who is now looking for just an answer), is Republican when it comes to the military and a Democrat when it comes to taking care of the homeless and is not afraid of any side of any topic and run-on sentences. When I am unsure of a subject I do my research to make sure I know all facts then I make my decision while asking myself, "WWBD?"

 

Are you there Bill? It's me Bill.

If someone is interested in doing op-ed pieces they should understand how to navigate the web. The information is there. Sometimes, we just need to dig a little deeper. Can't find the information you are looking for create a video for what you have found with your research. Review movies and write your own reviews. Comment on the current situation in Libya using your voice and not someone else’s. If someone asks for your opinion, give it to him or her. Don't tell them what you think they want to hear. If you have a problem with doing this read here and if you still have a problem, this is not the job for you. Stand behind what you say. T.I. understands about standing up, here are some lyrics from his song “Stand Up”.

[Chorus]
Stand up
If you don't like what I'm saying then buck
Swing when you see me we can throw them hands sucker
Stand up

Do I know what any of that really means? No, but what I take from it is to stand up for what you believe in. Keep your voice. I write cynical with humor geared towards educated individuals who enjoy highbrow humor mixed with a little low brow every now and then. It’s who I am and what comes naturally to me. I don’t want to write a review about drapes and how to find something that will match them, but I can add my voice by saying I would start by looking at Victoria Secret. Be you and the rest should fall into place. If not, you could always apply for this guy’s job.

Photo courtesy of businessinsider.com